Written by Todd Fink
“True humility is not thinking less of yourself. It is thinking of yourself less.” – C.S. Lewis
My dad would often remind me, “the wise man knows how little he knows.” That insight did not start to sink in until after my teenage years. It sprouted with my study of psychology and learning that illusory superiority is a cognitive bias in most of us that overestimates our abilities and intelligence. For example, in a Stanford survey of its MBA students, 87% rated themselves as above average academically compared with their peers. Another self-defeating statistic reveals that 55% of Americans believe they are smarter than the average American.
Humility is often defined as meekness but refers to having an open mind and modest opinion of one’s importance. Therefore, it is practiced as a virtue in spiritual traditions around the world as a way to manage the ego and part of a path to self-actualization and transcendence. Now, we have scientific evidence that shows how being intellectually humble actually expands one’s influence, enhances leadership and makes us all-around better people. This article will explore the art and science of humility.
Which groups of people display more humility…conservatives or liberals? Religious or nor-religious? Despite the stereotypes, there is no difference according to a recent study at Duke University. The trait is equally present and absent among these demographics. One experiment asked subjects to review essays for or against religion and to rate the personality of the author based on morality, honesty, competence, and warmth. If the subjects disagreed with the argument, they tended to rate the author very low and vice versa. Only the intellectually humble could separate views from the actual character of the person and more accurately assess information and make sound decisions.
This is why humility is increasingly recognized as an essential quality of effective leadership. It helps one to truly take in more perspectives and ideas and creates an environment where teammates feel welcome to offer them. Competitiveness alone in business does not yield as much success as it does when coupled with humility. Studies reveal that when CEO’s have both traits, their organizations outperform those where the leader is competitive but not humble. Researchers at the University of Washington found that employees who rated their managers as humble reported being more engaged and committed to the vision of the leader.
At Google, where the acceptance rate for job applicants is lower than any Ivy League university, humility is what they seek according to Laszlo Bock, the tech giant’s VP of People Operations. “Without humility, you are unable to learn,” he explains. A humble person may have strong beliefs but is flexible enough to change or improve when exposed to new facts or better ideas.
However, it can be challenging for researchers or recruiters to identify humility due to flaws in self-reporting and because it can only be observed when under apparent strain. This is the same with other virtues. For example, we see the courage of heroes when there is an element of danger or fear and, in the case of humility, when the individual does not over-inflate his or her importance in times of accomplishment. More accurately, it may be witnessed in a clash of opinions when a person remains open to the idea that their beliefs may be wrong instead of resorting to defensiveness. This is also, precisely, how a virtue can be cultivated.
To build long term physical strength and endurance, we must weaken our muscles in the short term – in other words, expose them to strain. This is why we exercise and pay for gym memberships. The same principle is true for psychological growth and maturity. A person cannot become truly kind by surrounding oneself exclusively with kind and respectful people. Humility cannot manifest amid favorable circumstances and agreeable opinions. Conflict and encounters with intellectual arrogance present the training grounds for humility. Remember to treat these situations as the gymnasium for the mind – practice and come back stronger.
From a spiritual perspective, that practice is conceived more as a revelation than an acquisition. This is known as Via Negativa in ancient Italian theology. It is the path of renunciation or the way of denial – just as Michelangelo sculpted the famous statue of David not by adding but by removing from the stone all that was not David. Accordingly, humility is not something to be acquired but revealed when the barriers within are removed.
In the Bhagavad Gita, the Hindu scripture and sixth book of eighteen in the epic Mahabharata of India, humility is also described by way of negation, as the absence of craving for respect. So, the direction given from Krishna to the student Arjuna on how to become a virtuous warrior was simple: let go.
Ultimately, this is a shedding of the ego, which has three key aspects: possession, identity and doership. Possession refers to attachment to objects, people, and property. Give freedom in relationships and use the things you need but be ready to relinquish them when they have served their purpose. We say “my” and “mine” but nothing truly belongs to us. We come with nothing and leave with nothing. In between, we have experiences and live on one land which is here before, during and after us. Instead, try to have the attitude of a steward and mentally say, “I will take care of you,” to anything that is near.
The second aspect is identity. “I am X.” Whatever we use in place of “X” becomes our sense of self. It could be an emotion such as “I am sad.” It could be our status, relationship, religion, nationality, age, gender, or name. All of those may change but not the “I am.” So, do not be attached to whatever comes after “I am.” The strongest attachment is to the idea that we are the body alone. The body is constantly changing, and every seven years almost all of its atoms are replaced. Yet, we still exist. Play the roles sincerely with great gratitude for the garb of a body but know that you are not the roles.
The third aspect is doership. The word ego in ancient Sanskrit is ahamkara, which literally translate to “I am the doer.” We are not human doings but human beings. In economic theory, there is a cognitive bias known as the “fallacy of the single cause,” which is an oversimplification mistakenly used to explain outcomes. Similarly, I might say “I made the meal” but, in reality, it is more complex. The vegetables are grown by the forces of nature, cut by the blade, cooked by the fire, and so on. In humility, it is possible to see more of the workings of the universe. Separation and isolation typically develop in response to success or failure due to the sense of doership, but humility fosters harmony with all life and a deeper connection with the whole.
In conclusion, we have the scientific evidence and the necessary inspiration from wisdom traditions to embrace this age-old virtue and let go of arrogance and egotism. Humility is the key that opens the head, hands and heart to each other. So many groups, cultures, tribes, societies and industries feel threatened in some way in this fast-paced and ever-changing world. Likely, there is no one cause and no one way forward, but imagine if we could empathically listen and truly learn from one another. Imagine how this could build our relationships, families, businesses and communities and most importantly, support the much-needed healing of psychological wounds and social divides.
My spiritual guide, like my mother and father, would instruct that if you are criticized, it is either an opportunity to learn something true about yourself or an opportunity to practice tolerance of different opinions by letting go of the need for approval. Either way, you grow.
About the author:
Todd Fink is a certified addiction counselor, a psychology graduate of Georgetown University, the co-founder of the internationally-acclaimed music group The Giving Tree Band, and the creator of the “Kind Mind” podcast. He has also contributed scientific articles on mindfulness for hospital newsletters and blogs, Peace Planet Journal and Elephant Journal. As a musician, counselor, writer, speaker and life-long student of meditation, Todd works fervently to educate people, organizations and communities on the benefits of healthy and mindful living. He draws upon unique encounters with prominent scientists, artists, and spiritual leaders—and also from extensive world travel—to bridge cultures and help point the way to a brighter future. www.michaeltoddfink.com
